On "What's next for you?"

It isn't that we don't like talking to people over thirty, it's just that we probably already know what they're going to say. "So, what are you doing now?" or "What's next for you?" get a lot of use, but a simple, "Now what?" or "Do you have a job yet?" is not unheard of.  Or there's my personal favorite "Are you applying to graduate programs? Law school?" It's not that we don't love you and appreciate you, family friends, old teachers and folks at church.  We're glad you care.  Except for those random people that you've literally just introduced yourself to.  Stay in your lane, super friendly ladies at the grocery store. The truth is, many of us have no idea what's next, and don't have professional jobs yet, and kind of feel like maybe we never will.  We're still paying for that first degree and are struggling to build a life stable enough to justify signing up for a yearlong gym membership.  I personally think it's rude to expect young people to make small talk about their life aspirations all of the time. 

Intermediate and Expert level adults: I suggest you try this: ask yourself "would it be appropriate to talk to this person, in this situation, about their employment status and long term goals if they were my age?" Often it is; you are having an in depth conversation with someone close to you.  You are currently employing or considering employing this person.  Often it is not; you ran into your friends twenty something kid while running errands.  You met this person within the last half hour.  Every twenty two year old you meet for the rest of your life will be grateful.  

As a recent grad still floundering about, I've found that my most common answer to this is "Right now I'm just babysitting, but I'm looking to get into blahblahblah" Hold up. Stop. Dramatic rewind noise.  I'm not just babysitting.  I'm inspiring the future!  When I show up at work, I'm making it just a little easier for parents to raise their families, go to work, or sneak in a weekly yoga class.  I'm wiping ass and taking names.  My job is important, and I'm really good at it.  It feels weird to say it. But it's true.  When I tell people I'm just babysitting I dismiss the hard work that I do.  I dismiss the way I spend most of my time.  I dismiss what allows me to support myself and the work that I take pride in.  And guess what, that doesn't feel good!  It makes me resent my awesome job and think I'm not succeeding enough.  I'm not alone in this people.  I know I've heard my peers just their work all the time.  I just work at the movie theater.  I'm just a receptionist. 

Amateur adults: this is a call t o action.  Stop just-ing yourself!  The fact that your work right now is temporary doesn't mean it doesn't matter.  Lets ban just from these conversations for good.  Try my mantra: My job is important and I'm really good at it.  If your job was such a pointless waste of time, why would you be getting paid to do it?  I know how frustrating it is, but what you do matters to somebody.  When you get rid of just you come across as more confident, and we could all use a bit of that.  While were at it, we should probably scrap the phrase "real job."  If you get up and do work and get paid for it, your job is real.  That's what real means.  It certainly isn't imaginary (as my snot stained wardrobe will attest) and it certainly isn't fake (unless you're living off one of those crazy payroll scams) Try instead, "professional job" or "work in my field."  It speaks to what you want to do without dismissing what you're doing now and sounds way adultier to boot.

Furnishing my Apartment- Quick List

Get the best bang for your buck by looking for these items.

A bed frame- The basic metal ones are $25-35, it'll give you extra storage space under your bed, and it makes your room look significantly more like you're planning on staying there for more than a few weeks.

A sheet or bedskirt- If you have a box spring, use one of these to cover it up.  Even the top sheet of a set you own, or a fitted sheet you replaced because it was no longer suitable to touch your body will look better than a naked box spring.

A tablecloth- Literally $4, they keep the table clean and look really nice.  The vinyl ones are easy to wipe off.  Replace it every now and then with seasonal patterns and you'll feel like a regular Martha Stewart. I know this is my third or fourth mention of tablecloths, I just like them, okay?

A coffee table- It doesn't even have to be a table, I used a trunk I found at a garage sale until my Mom (shoutout!) build me a custom upcycled one (you'll have to ask her to start a blog if you want to learn how to do that.)   It can be a frozen pizza dining table, a poker table, an ottoman, and your friends will have somewhere to put down their drinks. I live around my coffee table, and hardly ever lose my remote!

Bookcases- Not just for books!  Organize just about anything you own in a bookcase and It'll look much better and be easier to find than having it in a big box.  For a one-two punch of organization and adultliness, place your items in decorative boxes and your boxes in your bookcase. Those wire squares that you assemble into cubes are great too, and easier to carry if you, like me, live on the third floor.

Curtains- These are cheap at discount stores like Christmas Tree Shops, or can be found at a Salvation Army of Goodwill store- just be sure to wash them before hanging them up.  For the winter, pick thick ones, or the special heat and light blocking kind (usually $10 each.) They look nice and you'll save on heat.  You will also avoid one of the perils of city living- the neighbor five feet from your bedroom window seeing your personal Beyonce dance parties.  If there aren't any rods up, the cheap white ones they sell at hardware stores will work fine, just make sure you're buying the right size.

Those ottomans that are also boxes- Buy them at Target, they changed my life.  Easy to move seating for hosting and a place to dump things where nobody can see.  The Dream.

Adult Situation: Furnishing my Apartment

So here you are, in your wonderful first apartment, all moved in and snuggled up.  But wait just one minute, look around the room and tell me it doesn't look a little something like this..

Your mattress is sitting on the floor, maybe with a box spring under it.  You have a desk, and a chair, and maybe a dresser.  Alternatively, your clothes are in plastic containers.  Your'e still using your moving boxes as storage, and fifteen to fifty percent of your furniture, rugs, and decor were left there by the prior tenets, another crew of 18-25 year olds.  Its the way of the first apartment, we haven't had time to build a collection of dish towels and throw pillows and we certainly don't have the cash to fill up our new places with new things.  It's all fun and games until you find out how much real furniture costs.

 But don't despair!  If you don't want your home to look like a serial killer lives there, ready to bolt for a country without an extradition treaty at the first sign of trouble, I am here to help you!

First Stop: Free Stuff Central

Let your extended family and everyone know that you're moving to your first place, somebody probably has a few things they're getting rid of.  Shamelessly troll for furniture with "free" signs out on the street.  In Boston, this is particularly good advice around the first of the month (particularly September) when leases end and people are getting rid of things that don't make the cut for their new places.  Feel confident about tables and other hard stuff, but mattresses or anything upholstered can have unsavory gook and even little critters that'll cause you a world of distress.  If you get bed bugs, the place may have to be fumigated, and depending on your lease you may be responsible for the cost.  I advise against street mattresses and couches. But if your aunt of friend had it and is just upgrading that's a major score.

Next Stop:  Your local Goodwill or Habitat for Humanity Restore,

Great places to get super cheap furniture, and it's usually much nicer and sturdier than what you'll find at a place like Ikea.  You'll have to really scour if you're trying to find something really specific, but remember that anything can be painted, and a $4 tablecloth can change your life.  If you don't have a car (or a friend with a car) check out Zipcar (they even have pickup trucks!) rent a truck from Home Depot, or drag your parents along next time they're in town.

Next Stop: Amazon

If you're still in school, you can get a great discount on Amazon Prime with your .edu email account.  With free shipping, you can use this to get all of the stuff you need and is particularly  helpful if you don't have access to a car.  Before I got my hands on a car, it was a huge pain to get day to day things like toilet paper, socks, ink for my printer, whatever, at reasonable prices.  In the middle of Boston, I only had easy access to convenience stores and drugstores, where that kind of stuff is crazy overpriced.  You can even shop for furniture here, you'll be amazed by what is covered by your free shipping.

Next Stop: Ikea

They have everything you can possibly need, and plenty of super cheap, basic furniture.  You can save money if you can get to a physical location, but splitting delivery or shipping fees between all your roomies can make that route affordable too.  Get any essentials you weren't able to find on the super cheap, but be warned that once you set something up, you probably won't be able to take it apart and move it to be used again.

Next Stop: Target, Home Goods, Christmas Tree Shops, Big Lots

While you probably won't have much luck here with furniture, they are great places to get decorative stuff, extra blankets, and curtains.  You're gonna want some thick curtains that totally cover your windows when you're paying your own heating bills this winter.  If you're more ambitious you can pick up the wall art, cute dish towels, and seasonal tablecloths that will really make your home feel homey

There's a lot of stuff to buy, so think of it like a process, grab the basics now, and you can improve your habitat as you find deals.  I'm going on my third year in my place, and I'm still searching for the perfect under $25 storage solution for my bathroom.  To help you out,  my next post will be a list of the cheapest things that make the biggest impact.

Some of you may wonder why I advise spending precious beer money on lame boring home items.  I certainly won't question your adultliness if you like your place relatively unfurnished.  I personally found that I often feel transient, like everything I'm doing is temporary, kind of like I'm visiting my own life. I found that filling my home with things that I use and like, really getting comfortable in my space has brought a feeling that I'm staying for a while, building the home as well as the life that I want, making my apartment a place I want to be, edging out mom and dad's place as the control center of my life.  I've even begun referring to my apartment as "home" and the house I grew up in as "my parents house."