On "What's next for you?"

It isn't that we don't like talking to people over thirty, it's just that we probably already know what they're going to say. "So, what are you doing now?" or "What's next for you?" get a lot of use, but a simple, "Now what?" or "Do you have a job yet?" is not unheard of.  Or there's my personal favorite "Are you applying to graduate programs? Law school?" It's not that we don't love you and appreciate you, family friends, old teachers and folks at church.  We're glad you care.  Except for those random people that you've literally just introduced yourself to.  Stay in your lane, super friendly ladies at the grocery store. The truth is, many of us have no idea what's next, and don't have professional jobs yet, and kind of feel like maybe we never will.  We're still paying for that first degree and are struggling to build a life stable enough to justify signing up for a yearlong gym membership.  I personally think it's rude to expect young people to make small talk about their life aspirations all of the time. 

Intermediate and Expert level adults: I suggest you try this: ask yourself "would it be appropriate to talk to this person, in this situation, about their employment status and long term goals if they were my age?" Often it is; you are having an in depth conversation with someone close to you.  You are currently employing or considering employing this person.  Often it is not; you ran into your friends twenty something kid while running errands.  You met this person within the last half hour.  Every twenty two year old you meet for the rest of your life will be grateful.  

As a recent grad still floundering about, I've found that my most common answer to this is "Right now I'm just babysitting, but I'm looking to get into blahblahblah" Hold up. Stop. Dramatic rewind noise.  I'm not just babysitting.  I'm inspiring the future!  When I show up at work, I'm making it just a little easier for parents to raise their families, go to work, or sneak in a weekly yoga class.  I'm wiping ass and taking names.  My job is important, and I'm really good at it.  It feels weird to say it. But it's true.  When I tell people I'm just babysitting I dismiss the hard work that I do.  I dismiss the way I spend most of my time.  I dismiss what allows me to support myself and the work that I take pride in.  And guess what, that doesn't feel good!  It makes me resent my awesome job and think I'm not succeeding enough.  I'm not alone in this people.  I know I've heard my peers just their work all the time.  I just work at the movie theater.  I'm just a receptionist. 

Amateur adults: this is a call t o action.  Stop just-ing yourself!  The fact that your work right now is temporary doesn't mean it doesn't matter.  Lets ban just from these conversations for good.  Try my mantra: My job is important and I'm really good at it.  If your job was such a pointless waste of time, why would you be getting paid to do it?  I know how frustrating it is, but what you do matters to somebody.  When you get rid of just you come across as more confident, and we could all use a bit of that.  While were at it, we should probably scrap the phrase "real job."  If you get up and do work and get paid for it, your job is real.  That's what real means.  It certainly isn't imaginary (as my snot stained wardrobe will attest) and it certainly isn't fake (unless you're living off one of those crazy payroll scams) Try instead, "professional job" or "work in my field."  It speaks to what you want to do without dismissing what you're doing now and sounds way adultier to boot.