Get Organized!

In my experience, the orderliness of my bedroom is directly related to the orderliness of my life.  When I feel like I have it together, I'm also generally not tripping over my shoes, and my clean clothes are folded.  This, in turn, helps me feel like my life is together.  But it's hard to get organized and harder to stay organized when you have to put 75-100% of your worldly possessions in a room that is basically a small box.  But fear not!  I, a generally tidy person, am sharing my strategies with you!

 Problem One: We have too much stuff

Almost everyone I know has too much stuff.  Get rid of it all!  I love the idea of going through every single item, one drawer/box/shelf at a time.  I did this over the course of a year and I kept a tally of everything I got rid of.  I set a goal of trashing or donating 100 items, and by the time I was done I had reached 350, and I haven't missed a single one of them.  You can keep track, and count every little thing.  Some of the best things to get rid or are:

Clothes that don't fit you even if they look super hot on your fantasy body that you imagine you will have sometime.  These clothes are bringing you down.  Get rid of them.

Free stuff you accumulated.  Do you really need a Santander hacky sack?  Nope.  

Papers!  I bet a lot of those papers are literal garbage.  The others get their own binder or accordion file.  Piles of paper are not allowed.

Gifts you feel guilty getting rid of.  You can get rid of them.  Free yourself.

Problem Two: We don't have enough stuff.

Talking specifically here about stuff that holds other stuff.  You are a grown person now, and you can't get away with not having a dresser, a closet (may be actual or makeshift, mine is a tension rod) a bed frame, and some sort of shelving.  Here is some advice on getting things cheap/free. An elaborate system of piles might work for somebody in theory but I have never met that person.  

Problem Three: Things we use are buried in things we don't use.

The more often you use something, the easier it should be to access.  For example, there's no reason your summer clothes should be getting in your way when you're trying to get dressed in January.  Put them in a bag or a box and put it on a high shelf, an out of the way alcove, or under your bed.  This is why you get a bed frame, to fill the space under it with out of season clothes, extra sheets, your skis, puzzles you might do sometime, etc.  Nothing that you store under your bed will get in your way or make a mess.  It just sits there quietly until you need it. 

Problem Four: Pinterest is lying to us

The internet is filled with lots of elaborate and great-looking ways to organize your stuff.  Sure they look nice and great.  I would love to have a pantry that looks like a pinterest post, but my "pantry" is a bookshelf and I only have one shelf because I've got four roommates, so lining it with rustic jars filled with various grains is simply not going to suit my lifestyle.  Your organization model is KISS- Keep It Simple, Stupid.  Focus on what is going to work for you as time goes on.

Problem Five: Things don't have a place

You've probably heard the phrase "a place for everything and everything in it's place" and sorry guys, but I'm pretty sure it's true.  I am still working on the part where you keep everything in it's place but hey, we're all works in progress.  After you've gotten rid of extra junk, procured some storage solutions that are realistic for you, and tucked away things you don't use often pay attention to the things that are ending up all over the place and think of a better spot for them.  I always have coats, sweatshirts, and bags strewn about, so I bought a coat rack and I just keep them there.  You could get some whimsical hooks with birds on them!  A box is acceptable for this.  If it works, it works!

Problem Six: Trying to do it all in one go

A sad and very annoying reality of adulthood is that even with a concentrated burst of energy and enthusiasm, you can't just pull your whole life together all in one go.  I suspect we have this I will fix all the things mindset because for most of our lives, school was our main gig, and our big responsibilities, homework and assignments, could be banged out in a furious last minute burst.  In college, you can sit down at your desk with a full pot of coffee and just deal with most of the stuff hanging over your head (personal and emotional stuff excluded, of course.)  The practical matters of our lives now, including getting organized, take time.  You have to try stuff out, see what works, and prevent yourself from burning out.   Pulling everything out of your closet and just going wild until it's perfect is, lets be real, going to end in a pile of stuff being moved from your bed to your floor back to your bed every day for weeks.  Instead, tackle the problem one step at a time, gradually creating a space that works for you.

Amateur Adults Book Club

Commencement- J Courtney Sullivan

This great novel was gifted to me by someone who has never recommended something I didn't promptly become obsessed with so I knew I would love it before even cracking the cover.  It tells the story of four verybestfriends who meet in college and hold on tight to one another as they navigate their lives through college and beyond.  Halfway though the book, I realized I had read it before, when I was a senior in high school.  Reading it again post-college it was like a different book.  What resonated with me the second time around was how radically and quickly everything the characters wanted for their lives changed, and how very confused they were about it.  When I started college if you told me I'd be an administrative assistant, still live in Boston,  and have dated the same person for four years I would have said "you couldn't pay me enough." If today you gave me a chance to be who my 18 year old self wanted to be, a chemist and world traveler who stayed out late at cool bars and smooched lots of boys I would say "you couldn't pay me enough" and then sit down, because just thinking that makes me tired.  Unbelievably relatable, as fiercely feminist as you'd expect a story set at Smith to be, this book will make your heart ache for your best girlfriend and make you feel quite sure that with the right people by your side, you are going to be Just Fine.

I Will Teach you to be Rich- Ramit Sethi

Ramit (who also blogs) taught me almost everything I know about investing, and a good portion of my general knowledge about personal finance.  His advice is solid, he spells everything out and is super approachable and won't give you useless advice like "stop buying lattes everyday."  He approaches things with the idea that you don't have to do everything perfectly, but 80% is better than 0%, which I love and is generally applicable and excellent life advice, don't get so hung up on doing things perfectly that you do nothing.  The book was published in 2009, so it's thoughtful about the ominous economy young people are staring down, and there are some great references to 2009 pop culture phenomena that you forgot about.  It can read a little "how do you do, fellow kids?" but the advice is solid.  Even though he tells a story about the financial expertise of a friend who *only* makes 45k a year, which feels like a fortune when you're living the $13/hour life, the principles are solid and even work when you're somehow swinging it on half that.

Adulting- Kelly Williams Brown

Also a blogger, Kelly is hilarious, and she draws fun pictures!  This is a good book if you have literally no idea what you're doing.  It includes a list of all the cleaning supplies you should buy and how to do laundry as well as amazing tips for moving and apartment hunting and more ~advanced~ adult activities.  I love that she also tackles issues like relationships and emotional maturity and responsibility.  I bought it as a gift for a cousins college graduation and read it myself first and there is a lot of great advice in there for folks at any level of amateur adulthood.  The one thing I didn't like so much is the whole chapter on How to be Poor.  I have a thing about people saying "poor" when what they really mean is "broke" and this chapter, while it contained great advice on being frugal, and living the lifestyle you want for less money,  I just can't get behind advice like going to the J Crew outlet instead, because you're so very poor.

It's Okay If You Aren't Travelling the World

I'm going to level with you folks, posts on sites like Thought Catalog and Elite Daily have been popping up on my social media pages a lot this past year, and I hate them.  I love listicles and  think they're a lot of fun.  I don't like the self indulgence, the lack of any real content, or themes like "reasons I am the best type of person to date" "don't take responsibility for your life until you're at least 30" or "now that I live in Brooklyn let me tell you how interesting I am"

Scrolling through Facebook the other day, I spotted what I thought HAD to be a piece poking fun at these cliche kind of pieces, called 6 Reasons Why Not Quitting Your Job to Travel is a Waste of Your Life.  It was not that.  It was a young white woman explaining why most of the people on the planet are completely wasting their lives.  So natch, I had to read the entire thing.

The first thing we need to talk about here is the rampant, oblivious privilege in this piece and so many like it.  I understand that travel is a priority for some people, and they may not be crazy rich but they make it work by doing things like taking jobs abroad, strategic use of credit card points, and staying with friends and family and in hostels.  A good friend (and avid traveler) who is currently living and working in South Korea and planning a trip to Japan pointed out the following things (besides tons of money, which she does not have) that she's lucky to have that allow her to travel so much.

No dependents!  No children, of course, but also no parents, younger siblings or ailing family members who depend on you for financial support or essential care.

The means to even get a credit card to finagle all those miles/points.

Citizenship in a country that allows for all that international travel, as well as the knowledge and access needed to get all your documentation in line.

A body that is healthy enough to be away from reliable healthcare for extended periods.

Please everyone we all need to stop listening to random people on the internet who tell us we are wrong about our lives!  I can't believe that this is something that needs to be said, but a lot of us have to be reminded: it is okay if you aren't travelling the world even if you're in your twenties.  Your'e fine.  You may even still be an interesting person with a valuable perspective.

I am not a traveler.  I become an absolute monster when I'm tired, hungry, or hot.  I really like my job.  It is important to me to be near the people that I love.  I think it's amazing to be surrounded by people who know me and care about me.  Planes make me grumpy, and any uncertainly about where I will eat or sleep or go next sends my anxiety through the roof.  But you may be surprised to find out that I don't actually think I'm wasting my life!

Also, this is a grown woman who literally does not understand that someone could have a fulfilling life in a different way than she has!  Lets take a peek at these 6 reasons

1. You have to test your limits to know your limits.
First of all I'm not super sure that's true.  I think with some self awareness we can have a good idea of where our limits are.  I'm also not convinced the point of being a person is pushing everything to the limit all the time.  Most of all, in what world is travelling the only way to "know how strong you are?" I learned how strong I was when my mom had cancer, when I stood up for myself and my friends to people behaving unacceptably, when I broke down in the middle of the work day and had to pull it together and do my job.

2. A full life is one that is packed with memories.
Honestly, if traveling is the only way you can think of to fill your life with memories I don't even know what to say to you.  I have some great memories of travelling.  I also remember how I felt when my sister was born and how the day when we were teenagers and our relationship changed for the better and for good.  I've watched children I love learn to talk and walk and read and say my name.  I remember the best job I've ever had and the first time I didn't care when somebody made fun of my outfit.

3. You'll never have the experience if you don't take the chance.
Ignoring the ridiculous concept that some people may want to have different experiences than others, here is a quick list of new experiences I've had recently all while living in Massachusetts and going to work every day: trying new foods, becoming friends with someone very different from me, being in love,  riding a camel, pushing myself to have a conversation with every single person at a party, going to a new museum, learning I was wrong, figuring out how to make risotto, teaching Sunday School, starting a new job.

4. This is the only time in your life when you CAN travel.
Tell that to my 82 year old grandmother when she's finished talking about her latest month long international trip.

5. The greatest lessons you'll learn are from people who aren't like you. 
Mind blowing fact: I've learned some of my greatest lessons from people who weren't like me at my church.  Plus she says this absurd thing "If you don’t get the chance to experience the ways other people live, you’ll never truly appreciate everything you have. It’s hard to feel lucky when you don’t know anything else." First of all, we all know this means that looking at people who don't have enough to eat somehow makes you feel good.  And that's weird.  Second of all, you don't have to go abroad to see people who aren't like you, and frankly it's alarming that people don't realize this.  You can benefit from the awareness that there are people unlike you very close to you.  That your neighbors may be very unlike you! Maybe you could talk to them instead of hustling past with your head down on your way to the airport.

6. Your comfort zone will be the death of you.
Okay, but first of all, being comfortable isn't necessarily bad.  Many, many people spend their whole lives working to just be comfortable.  She also has this insight "If you stay cooped upside inside a cage of your own making, you’ll never know the beauty this world has to offer." A job where you sit at a desk is not a cage, that's actually ridiculous.  Maybe needing constant excitement and stunning vistas is actually holding you back.  Maybe there's a case to be made for seeing the beauty and excitement in the sunset over your neighborhood, a new challenge at work, the chance to help someone, a fresh cup of coffee.  Maybe being alone with your thoughts and yourself and not being surrounded by excitement also offers us a chance for reflection and growth.

Past the Piggy Bank: Now What?

Earlier this week, I was chatting with my roommate when I discovered that his money related plans were not quiiiite up to snuff.  By not up to snuff, I mean it was mostly just closing his eyes really tight and hoping it would all Go Away.  It won't, of course.  Everybody knows that, we just don't know what to do with it.  He confessed that even though he likes amateur adults, when I wrote about personal finance he tends to zone out because its too much.  That is obviously the opposite of what I'm trying to do here.  So in Past the Piggy Bank, we're starting from the very beginning, get in on the ground floor!  I promise not to use the I word yet.  

The first thing I discovered is that Mike is paying obscene amounts of money in bank fees.  Break fee friends!  Mike's first step, and yours if you need to do it, is to stop putting up with your bank taking all your money.  Pretend your bank is a super rich guy (this should be easy) who is asking you if he can please have $35 because he just wants it thankyouverymuch.  We may have to tolerate that from Comcast, but not at the bank!

Here's the scoop: The general way banks make money is by loaning out the money in savings accounts to folks applying for mortgages and car loans and stuff.  That's why they have minimum balances and why they're paying you interest.  They hold your money safely and pay you a bit to do it, and then they loan it out at much higher interest rates.  They make all the profit, but they also take on all the risk.  Seems legit.  However, banks are increasingly looking to bring money in both ways and that's how you end up with exorbitant fees.   It drives me crazy when banks advertise about waiving the monthly maintenance fee if you meet certain criteria as if they're doing you a huge favor.  If you are paying a monthly or annual maintenance fee it is time to get a new bank. 

Whats the deal with banks and young people?: You may have noticed that banks are falling all over themselves to get students and young people signed on.  That's because most people will never switch banks.  They know that, and they know that if they sign you up at 18 you are likely to be a lifelong customer.

But it isn't that hard to switch banks, and I'm about to tell you how to do it.

First: Pick a place to do your banking.  Feel free to ignore interest rates.  You probably don't have enough money sitting in the bank for interest rates to add up anywhere near the rate that fees do, so fees are your main concern.  All banks have handy lists of their fees called "Fee Schedules" and they are easily googled.

I don't use banks.  I exclusively use credit unions.  The main difference is that credit unions are not for profit.  Often you have to meet some criteria to join (like working at a certain place) but often that criteria is just living within a city or state. I used SEFCU in Albany and now that I'm in Boston I use Metro Credit Union and have what they call a SMART account.  They are great! They refund ATM charges, they gave me free life insurance, when I call customer service my problem gets resolved.  I pay (because I chose to get this service) a $20 annual overdraft protection fee and never have to worry about it. I deposit all my checks on my phone, pay all my bills online, and send money to and fro with my parents at their bank all for free.   All you need to get started  is about $30 and proof that you live in Massachusetts.

Into credit unions?  Google "Credit Unions [place you live]"

Another option many people like is banks based in and around their communities, like East Boston Savings Bank or Cambridge Savings Bank.  These guys are the local businesses of the banking world.

Into local banking?  Google "Community Banks [place you live]"

I know, Big Bank America World has ATMs everywhere and it's super convenient, but how often do you physically go to the bank?  Add up how much you're paying in fees and ask if it's actually worth it.  Every bank is convenient people, we live on the internet. 

Okay, you've picked out a friendlier and more affordable financial institution (bonus, they probably bear minimal responsibility for breaking the economy!) What do you do?  Call them up and ask what you need to get an account started.  Gather those things.  Go to Evil Old Bank and say "I'd like to close out my account please."  They may be like whatever here's  the $200 you have to your name or they might try to get you to stay with lots of facts about how great they are or ~enticing offers~  but stay strong!  If you're super non confrontational you can pretend you're moving.  Take all your money, and those documents you gathered up, and bring the lot over to Friendly Local Financial Institution.  Tell them you'd like to open their most basic account with the lowest fees and they'll take it from there.

Miss Manners

I love manners.  I'm certainly not going to say that mine are as good as they should be all the time, but I am gonna say I love it when someones gives a pack of thank you cards as a graduation gift.  You don't have to share my zeal for manners and obsession with winning the heart of every grandparent in America; but you do have to have decent manners.  Not only is it just part of living in society and respecting the way other people feel, people will like you more and want to spend more time with you, and ditching rudeness helps you portray yourself as a mature and capable person.

Be on time

I try really hard to be on time and consequentially, spend a lot of time waiting for people who are late.  The epidemic of young people being late is at atrocious proportions. This is all I need to say about being late:

There is no such thing as fashionably late before 8pm or when someone is cooking.

When people are always having to wait for you you're sending one of two messages. You don't value other peoples time and/or you can't get your shit together. Neither is a good look. 

Seriously, show up on time.  To everything.

Respect boundaries in conversation 

I am an over-sharer, and I come from a long line of over-sharers so I have to be particularly careful about this.  A good rule of thumb is to avoid talking about health issues, money, and intense emotional experiences, yours or others, in casual conversation.  NEVER talk about your sex life in mixed company.  I am astounded by how many people put that stuff on blast.  It's not a sex negative thing, its that most people are uncomfortable hearing that information from people other than partners and close friends. And it's extremely disrespectful to your partner/partners to make something they thought was private public info.  I am particularly distressed  when people in monogamous relationships do this because we all know who you're talking about and it's super weird. If you think something will be okay but aren't sure you can say something like "is it okay if I ask how much that cost?" or "do you mind if I tell a story about my weird gynecologist who looks like Mike Dukakis?" and give them the opportunity to say "I'd rather you didn't"

Put your phone away

I know, you're just checking it real quick. But for the person who is trying to talk to you, it never seems as quick as it does for you.  If you are having a conversation with someone it shouldn't even be in your hand.  If you're not willing to tell the person in front of you that what's going on on your phone is more important/critical than they are put it away.  If it's actually urgent tell them, deal with it, and put. it. away. 

Send cards

It's always so great to get something nice in the physical mail, plus I do want the USPS to be solvent, so I advise you to send cards.  Like, with envelopes and stamps. 

Level One (Honestly even children should do this): Send thank you cards.  You know the deal, you send these after job interviews, when someone gives you a gift, or helps you out in a major way.  When you invited along to a dinner out, family vacation, skydiving expedition, etc and someone else pays for you, that's a gift and warrants a note. Sometimes, an email thank you is appropriate.  If you don't even say thank you, you need to reevaluate your life.  

Level Two (Impressive): Send birthday, sympathy, congratulation, and get well cards. When your parents call you and tell you random news about a family friend, old teacher, or neighbor, this is what you are supposed to do with that information.

Level three (Maximum): Send Holiday Cards.  Nobody expects them from 23 year olds, that's why its so fun to send them. 

Quit condescending to older people 

I mean, this is basically "respect your elders" which I firmly believe (in most cases.)   Someone who had experienced double the life you have so far by the time you were born might know some things you don't.  Using a cutsey pet name for someone who was raising a child when you were still trying to figure out what you were supposed to use your feet for is arrogant and super dismissive. I also hate the whole "cute old lady/man" thing we throw at folks over 70.  I have the utmost admiration for my grandmother, I'm not going to talk to/about her like I would a puppy. Actually, I'm a firm believer in not condescending to anyone, even kids.  

Don't show up to parties empty handed 

You don't need to roll up with pinterest-worthy baked goods, but a bottle of wine, a bag of chips, or some flowers is nice, depending on the type of gathering.  Better yet, ask the host what they need.  Sometimes you won't even have to buy anything, they might want an extra cooler or for you to bring that game you have that everybody likes. 

Ask what you can do to help

When we were growing up, me and my brother and sister didn't learn that "please" and "thank you" are the pair that make up basic manners.  There is also, just as importantly, "what can I do to help?" I distinctly remember my mom, when reminding us to be on our best behavior would repeat "please, thank you, what can I do to help?" Don't just sit there like a lump!  Some people are particular about guests helping and will decline.  I guarantee even these folks appreciate you asking.  You also need to do this when you go back and visit family.  When I'm at a friends parents and they lounge around while their mom runs around like a chicken with its head cut off to make us dinner I LOSE IT.

Be a gracious guest

If someone worked hard to make a meal for you, you need to try every part of it.  I once served dinner to kids I was babysitting and the three year old asked me why I wasn't having any fish.  When I told her I don't care for fish, she literally said "how can you know that if you didn't try it?" Owned by a toddler.  Don't refuse food unless you're allergic or have a dietary restriction, which you should have made your host aware of well in advance.  Bonus manners tip: try it before you start adding stuff.  If you immediately slather food in sauce or butter or start going crazy with the salt it's like saying "I'm not going to even try this before I assume it's not good enough the way you served it." It's a lot of work to serve a nice meal, the least you can do is give the food a chance.  (The second least you can do is offer to do some dishes)

Rein in the profanity 

I like a well placed swear word as much as the next sassy twenty something blogger,and I have a soft spot in my heart for vulgar female comedians, though I will say my swearing rate fell off a cliff when I started working with kids all the time, and have occasionally been asked if I don't swear at all after replacing a few choice words with "frick" or "booty."  Swearing all the time is a sure fire way to sound like a teenager.  If you are swearing more than the people around you, you're swearing too much.  Don't swear at work.  If you know someone doesn't like to hear cussing, don't swear around them. Don't swear in front of other people's kids.  If you're swearing in a place where kids are they hear you and some poor parent (or babysitter!) has to deal with it.

Dress presentably

I'm not going to slut or body shame you or tell you you should embrace my lifestyle of only wearing 100% cotton clothes that come from Old Navy.  I want you to be comfortable and express yourself! But you should at least be clean and dressed appropriately for what you're doing/who you're seeing, if only to show people that you respect them enough to change out of your pajamas.  "Get through my day without seeing any strangers butts" is a very reasonable desire that a lot of people have.  We should respect it by only showing our butts to people who want to see them.  Not that your butt isn't great, but margaritas are great too, doesn't mean I want one on the Orange Line at 8 AM.  

Keep your hands to yourself 

Don't touch people who don't want to be touched.  Don't touch things that belong to other people that they don't want touched.  Don't grub all up on that person that does want to be touched around folks who don't want to see it.  There are many opinions on what kind of PDA is too far, I am of the opinion that in mixed company kisses that could be reasonably described as "pecks" are okay in limited quantities, as is hand holding, single arms around shoulders or waists and unsexy hugging.  Basically I don't do anything to my boyfriend in front of family members that I wouldn't also do to a family member.  It makes you look not only rude, but immature, to be getting down in public.  You are a grown person who has full control of their hormones and faculties, show it. 

Riding in Style- Buying a Car (Pt 2)

So you've picked out the car you want!  Hooray!!  Don't fall in love with it too soon though, counting your chickens before they hatch and whatnot.  Now you have to go see it in person.

First things first, call the seller to set up a time to see it.  It's obvious why you have to do this if you're buying from an individual, but with a dealership they'll make sure its avalible for you when you get there.  Show up at that time and say to the first employee who approaches you "I called about seeing the [car] at [time]" and they'll hook you up.

Test drive it, see if it feels right and runs well.  Make sure you get up to highway speeds at some point.  Check out the service record.

Once you've decided to buy it is when it gets real nerve-racking.  If you're going to be financing you have to do some research on that front too.  The usual rules apply, read everything you sign, get everything in writing, find out about fees and other costs.  Make sure there's no penalty for paying off the loan early.  Get all warranty information.   Dealerships will try to sell you a bunch of protection packages and stuff, be firm in saying no.  I HIGHLY recommend bringing an expert level adult to this meeting, someone who has done it before.

Don't forget that when you buy your car, you also have to pay sales tax on it.  This will come out of your down payment.  I put $1500 down on my car, but only about $1000 went towards the sticker price.  In Massachusetts you'll pay 6.25% of the purchase price right to the Commonwealth.  Unless you have really good credit and a great financing deal, you cannot borrow this money, you need it upfront.  You also need to pay a Certificate of Title fee ($80 in MA,) and a Registration and Inspection fee ($92.50) and a Documentation fee to the dealer (mine charged $298) meant to cover the cost to them of processing the documents.  These last three may be rolled right up into your loan. I was expecting the tax and various RMV fees, but was surprised by the documentation fee.  So you might think, great, this car costs $7998 and I'm putting down $1500, I'll be sitting pretty with a $6498 loan.  FALSE.  Add in all those fees and I'm paying $8987 and change, and strolling out owing $7487, despite giving them $1500.  Also recall that you've just bought insurance, which we can discuss at a later date.

Now, in case you were like "ugh, I still have way too much money I wish someone else would take some" have no fear, because depending on what state you live in, you may get an excise tax bill in a few weeks.  When mine showed up unexpectedly, mass.gov helpfully informed me that "An excise is a tax upon an event or privilege. A motor vehicle and trailer excise is in lieu of a tangible personal property tax and is levied for the privilege of registration." Personally, I think referring to registering your car as a "privilege" is kind of rich, but whatever, societies have rules.   In MA they use the list price of the car when it was new, along with how old it is to determine its value and tax you accordingly at $25 per thousand. The age of the car makes a huge difference here.  A new car originally valued at $20,000 is gonna mean a $450 excise bill.  A five year old car that cost $20,000 new gets you a $50 excise bill.  Mine is under $25, because I live the high life.  You need to pay excise taxes every year. Check out how it works in your state with the power of Google.

When I bought Pod I went to the dealership three times.  Once to test drive it and sign the things that said I intended to buy it.  The second time I brought backup, and signed to make everything official with the finance guy.  It is at this meeting that you're supposed to have your insurance information.  In many states you need insurance to drive off the lot.  I had not yet bought insurance and it was embarrassing. I was able to get it online that afternoon and call him with the info.  I went back a third time to pick it up, because once you make it official you need to wait till the plates are good to go.

Then you drive away in your cool new car!  You are now riding in style!  Now all you need to worry about is insurance, maintenance, accidents, gas prices, irregularities in your tires, etc.  As my Dad would say "ahhh.. the joys of motoring."

Riding in Style- Buying a Car (Pt 1)

I love my car.  It a little grey Chevy Aveo I call Pod.  Here are some things I like about Pod:

He's ALL MINE!  My name and address are on the registration and the insurance, I've got a resident parking sticker, nobody drives it without my permission, and nothing I leave in it gets touched.  I never have to sit in the backseat, and if anyone has a problem with my jams I can kindly invite them to walk.

I can get to Trader Joe's, Target, and, I guess, work, in a comfortable, reliable and timely fashion.  No more triple transfers.  The T is invaluable, but Pod is consistently heated and air conditioned, and nobody touches me. The world is a whole lot bigger when you aren't reliant on public transportation.

I'm the friend with the car, which allows me to feel helpful and needed, and also people are always giving me treats when I drive them.

He has a spoiler and an antenna on the top that makes him look like Alfalfa.  This is apt, cause he is in fact a little rascal.

Here are some things I don't like about Pod:

He costs so much money!  He's a real diva.  In addition to the obvious, loan payments, insurance, gas, regular maintenance I have experienced parking tickets, towing, a mysteriously cracked windshield and a flat tire. This is the rascal part.

He can't dig himself out of the snow.

Pod is my first ever car, and I took great care in picking him out.  If you're smart about selecting your car, you will also continue to like it, and maybe minimize the "costs a ton" part.

Be warned, I bought used and know very little about buying a new car.  I'm not some sort of tycoon.

Your first step is to think "What do I need?"

Do you even need to own a car?  If you live in the city, car sharing and public transportation may do it for you for a while.  I need to get out to all sorts of far flung suburbs for work, so driving greatly increased my ability to earn a living.  This is usually the case for non-urban dwellers, and even outskirts-livers.

Okay, so you need and don't just want a car.  What features must it have?  I am NOT talking about parking assist, here was my list:

Automatic Transmission
Small/Parkable
Good gas mileage
Under 50,000 miles
Reliable

I also had a strong, but negotiable,  preference for a hatchback.

How many miles is it supposed to have?  This seems like a big deal Julianna!  It is.  I paid (more accurate-am paying) just under 9,000 for my car, and have seen the same make model and year going for less than 3,000 and both were totally fair prices because of the difference in mileage.  Cars have a limited lifespan, but you can't know exactly what it is cause just like humans, there are plenty of general rules but also a million other factors.  I called my Dad to consult, and he gave me the following advice: 15-20k per year is average.  A car with 30k can be considered "broken in," when you start getting up to 100k you're talking about an over the hill car. Mine had 23k, which is astounding for a 2007, but he's always been a city car.

Fortunately, I had been  planning on having to make this purchase for about two years and had stashed up a down payment and had a job, so I had the relative luxury of picking one that fit into my short and mid-term financial plans, but I totally sympathize with "I literally just need to get to work next week." and if that is your situation, relaxing those reliability and mileage requirements is what is gonna get you down real low, but no promises about repair costs later on.

This list will help you get an idea for what sort of car you may want, and it's funner than the next part so I did it first.

Also decide what isn't important.  I didn't care if my car was dorky (actually this was a total plus.)  I didn't consider that I'd end up with crank windows and no power locks, but since I had already decided "not needing to buy another car for a long time" was my goal and "living a life of luxury" is more of a hobby I indulge in other peoples cars it didn't throw me.

Next step is "What can I afford?"

This one is trickier than you may think, because what you actually pay has a lot to do with the financing you get.  Start with what you can pay per month and use a calculator like this one, and don't be too optimistic about your interest rate.  This will help you narrow down your list.  When I thought realistically about my budget I knew some thing were immediately out, like ya know, anything German.  I also found I would be buying used which ruled out a few models that were introduced in 2014.

Next find that car!

Now that you have an idea what you're looking for troll your area online and in newspapers for cars that check your boxes.  It's best if you have plenty of time, because used car inventory is always changing.  I got mine at an ~official~ Chevy dealership, which meant I paid a bit more, but the car had been thoroughly checked up and tuned up and came with a warranty, and it mattered to me that I buy it from someone with a reputation to protect, rather than off some rando.  If you know more about cars than I do or are down to take it to a mechanic to be checked out this may not be a priority for you.  If if just needs to be a car that can drive by all means pull over and check out a car in a front lawn.  If you know what your're doing you may get a great deal.

Next we'll chat about actually buying your car- how do I comport myself at the dealers?  What the heck is excise tax?  What am insurance?

Adulting through the Fog

As many of you probably know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month.  Though I have mixed feelings about awareness months (sit down October, I've seen Pink Ribbon, Inc) I think this one is important, and after a lot of thought, I've decided to contribute by sharing a bit about my travels with mental illness and how it's helped and hindered and wreaked havoc on my transition into adulthood.  

I live with anxiety and depression.  I have for as long as I can remember, and was first diagnosed and medicated in 5th grade.  I'm very fortunate to have had help managing it for so much of my life, and I credit my very in the know and emotionally intelligent parents for that.  As a kid I had what my family called "meltdowns" just sobbing and sobbing until I wore myself out, and never knowing quite why.  I was physically nauseated with guilt over trivial things and never told anyone.  If I wasn't able to finish my homework...watch out.  My spelling book was always a battlefield, and the 5th grade project where you had to plan and document an imaginary cross country trip was harder for me than writing my Senior Capstone.  Even so, if you asked me to describe my childhood, "happy" and "wonderful" would be the first words out of my mouth.  High school was...high school.  I had a hellish junior year, but I went away to college feeling prepared and well adjusted.  It was a rough but positive transition, to be sure.  My second year I called my mom in tears so often that she still asks me occasionally if I've been crying in any alleys (I shared a room, you gotta cry where you can!)  

Then I had what I'd consider my first real bout of depression as an adult.  I had just moved off campus, had an horrible job, and was totally overwhelmed.  It was much lower energy than my experiences when I was younger.  I couldn't sleep at night, I couldn't get up in the morning.  Fun stuff stopped being fun, I left countless parties and gatherings crying because I felt so lonely.  My main interests were watching Law and Order SVU, laying face down, and trying to make people not worry about me.  I changed my medication, and that was really empowering.  I relearned some of the techniques I'd been neglecting.  I surrounded myself with love.  I didn't go to therapy, but I talked about my feelings a lot.  I probably should have gone to therapy instead of coaxing it for free out of unsuspecting loved ones.  

A friend sent me this excellent post  about executive dysfunction and for me, it makes a lot of sense.  For example, these are the normal instructions I give a recently potty trained child who sometimes and kind of needs help going to the bathroom.  This is the actual level of detail I give them, they can get completely sidetracked at literally any point.  

Walk to the bathroom

Pull down your pants and undies

Hop on the potty

Take some toilet paper 

Wipe with it

Put it in the potty (this is critical, they always try to hand it to me)

Hop off the potty 

Pull up your pants and undies 

And THEN they have to wash their hands!  Is this overkill?  Yes.  Does it get me out of the bathroom in under ten minutes with nobody screaming? Also yes.  But my point here is that when you're a grown up, nobody is telling you the steps, guiding you through them.  When you're a young adult, sometimes it's not just a matter of doing the steps but of figuring out what they are.  When you're depressed, the endless series of steps is an insurmountable mountain, so maybe you just lay on your face for a while.  

On the other hand, becoming responsible for my own life has really empowered me. I feel so much less often like things happen to me, and more like I'm doing things.  For me, feeling like the badass ruler of my own destiny and being depressed don't get along very well.  Seeing beautiful little faces grinning and running up to me because hanging out with me is so darn great and being depressed don't get along well.  And yes, a medication situation carefully tried and balanced keeps depression at bay. Shining a big bright light into all the dark corners of myself and out into the world keeps depression at bay, even if it's a fight to keep the power on.

Like many people, I have a complicated relationship with my depression.  Sometimes, I wonder how much easier it would be to do my life without it.  Sometimes I wonder if it makes me appreciate my happiness even more. Sometimes I get frustrated with people for not getting it.  Sometimes, I wonder if I should keep quiet and listen to people with mental health issues more serious and "real" than mine.  Sometimes I want to kick depression in the face, and sometimes I want to thank it for a particularly good bit of wisdom. I certainly don't know who I would be without it, and I'm pretty great.

My Year in the "Real World," by the Numbers

This week marks the one year anniversary of my college graduation, and for quite some time I've been turning over in my head the idea of writing for you, my loyal (and beautiful) readers, a reflection on this past year.  Here's the rub though, right now I am not super thrilled with my situation.  This post was my most popular so far, and I have to admit that passing the one year mark, being invited to this years senior week events and going away parties, hearing about all the amazing things folks are doing, and making arrangements to stay in my Mission Hill apartment for the fourth straight year are all leading to me having these moments more frequently than usual.  Even so, I had a great year, and feared writing the way I normally do while grumping about wouldn't do it justice, so here's my year since graduation, by the numbers

As you may know from my grumpy faces and tweets this year has not been a particularly “good” one for me professionally, but not for lack of trying

50- the number of jobs I've applied for since graduation (just hit his mark today!)

27- the number of those jobs I applied to in 2015 after kicking the search into high gear

5- maximum jobs I can apply for in one sitting before going crazy

3- trips to career services

8- first interviews

1- second interview

46- children babysat

6- children I really look forward to babysitting

9 million- times I've read a Llama Llama book (approximation)

3- times per month someone reminds me that lots of people don't have a plan after college

Which I do appreciate, but I'm suspicious because I also have....

2- friends who graduated last spring still looking for full time work in their fields. TWO.

This aspect of my life is very frustrating. It's very simply extremely frustrating. I'm not so much sad about is as very much over it.  I do love those 6 kiddos and their parents though. More than I hate the other stuff.

In contrast, this has been a banner year for me personally. Really I'm just nailing it (mostly.)

42.75- books read. This is the best part of being done with school, I have time to read for pleasure and words on a page don't automatically make me want to fall asleep.

2007- the year of the car that I bought for my own self, with my own name on the registration and insurance.

1800- dollars in my savings account

3.5- average number of “sad lady with a guitar” folk songs needed to calm me down after I really get going

1- times I openly cried in public. This used to be a monthly figure!

17- blog posts

The best things can't be expressed with numbers, like how much more confident I feel in my ability to run my own life, the incredible connections I've forged with friends and loved ones, everything I've learned in my not yet fruitful job search, everything I've learned in my very fruitful babysitting job (about both life and babies.) The ability to see myself growing in both maturity and self awareness and seeing myself gradually becoming the woman that I want to be. But that doesn't mean I can appreciate...

4- years with my excellent boyfriend

11- years with my soul mate, a best friend who reminds me who I am when I forget (and never says noto a trip to a National Historical Site) 

23- years on earth blessed by the most wonderful and supportive parents and big brother anyone could ask for 

19- years (and one pact) with a motivating, inspiring, kick butt little sister who has no time for my BS attitude 

4- years in this same annoying apartment,  but with roommates that I am honored to call my friends.

2500- dollars I no longer owe in student loans

3- entirely new types of food embraced

[redacted]- delicious bottles of white wine 

2- grown up vacations

4- 

3- “vacations” at my parents house

4th- Presbyterian Church, the incredible community I've become a part of 

11- elephant items procured (this seems low, I think I missed some)

It's been a good year, a fun year, a hard year, an exciting year, a frustrating year, and in many ways a very freeing year I've grown a lot, and not without some growing pains.  

One year out, this is my advice to anybody graduating this spring, Friday from Northeastern!

Build yourself a rich and fulfilling non-work life

Don't expect too much from yourself 

Stop worrying that you're drinking too much caffeine

Get a library card 

Try to stop worrying about what you're not

It's not creepy if you still want to go to house parties

It is creepy if you smooch 19 year olds while you're there

Moving Past Instant Ramen

Eating is simultaneously my favorite hobby and the bane of my existence. I am certainly one to close my eyes like a lady in a yogurt commercial over a great meal somebody else prepared. But I've also found myself standing blankly in front of my refrigerator on countless weekdays wondering how I will possibly sustain myself until the next time I'm at my boyfriends parents and his mom places in front of me that most elusive of luxuries; a yummy, healthy, balanced meal. (For the record, my own parents also feed me very well, just less often because of the distance factor)

I am not convinced of the accuracy of the young people eating instant ramen stereotype, it's a point of pride for me that I never once ate it in college (though I also never pulled an all nighter, my mistakes were in other areas) but my substitute was frozen pizza which is probably not much better.  But I am positive that it is harder than it seems to feed yourself in any sort of sensible way as a young adult. We've got four things working against us: we don't have much money, we don't have regular schedules,  we don't have much practice, and we're usually cooking and shopping for one so if we aren't careful everything is constantly going bad before we can eat it.  I've been off the meal plan life for four years, so I've figured out some good tricks, but I still eat a lot of frozen pizza.  

For breakfast I buy something to toast (bread, bagels, English muffins) and some protein having thing to smear on it (peanut or almond butter, cream cheese, with jelly if I'm feeling fancy) cereal, a fruit, almond milk (I know, I'm contributing to the drying of the state of California, but non dairy milks keep longer!) Sometimes I hard boil some eggs in advance, and pick up some hearty granola bars for when I'm in a real rush. I just combine these items however I want each morning.  And often again at lunch time.

My tried and true dinner method is grain+veggies+optional protein+sauce.  I buy my vegetables frozen- they don't go bad and come already mixed up.  I don't use recipes, I use equations- rice+stir fry medley+ pre made stir fry sauce.  Pasta+broccoli+alfredo. Quinoi+kale and carrots+butter.  It's cheap, the components don't go bad, it takes hardly any cooking skill, only requires one or two pots, and reheats well for more meals.  

My other favorite meals are "microwave all taco related ingredients in a bowl and dip chips in it,"canned soup, "I'll just eat what the kids are having," the hot bar at Stop and Shop as cheap takeout alternative "leftovers from my roommates work at a restaurant," salads, "church potluck," whatever is in my apartment that I can melt cheese over, frozen taquitos from Trader Joes, and of course, "ugh, let's just go out."   

Lets not stress about working our way through The Art of French Cooking and instead try to learn how to cook a new thing every, like, whenever you have time.  I'll leave you with my express lane shopping list (12 items or less).  You can try it my way, or watch this space, as I'll be featuring a guest post by a nutrition expert on how she feeds herself well on the cheap.

Cereal

A thing to toast

Peanut butter

Eggs

Frozen Veggies

Rice or Pasta

Almond milk

Salad (I just get a mixture of greens from the salad bar)

Apples or Bananas (the cheapest fruits, and apples keep well in the fridge)

Sauce to match my veggies

Cheese (always)

Refried Beans

Money, Honey: Demystifying Tax Season

You can do your own taxes! It's really true! And it's a lot easier than you think!  Filing your taxes and maximizing your refund (or minimizing your liability) can be crazy complicated.  But if you're an amateur adult it probably isn't.  The forms are confusing and the language makes no sense, but it's actually much simpler than you think.  Today, for my fellow procrastinators, a guide to the basics of how taxes work so you can get it all done by the 15th.  Or spend the next year ruminating on your new knowledge and do em yourself in 2016.  If you want to know what the scoop is with taxes (I think it makes doing them easier) read this whole post.  If you're in a big hurry skip to the last half, where I explain what you personally need to do. 

If you take a peek at your check on payday, you'll see that several types of taxes are coming out.  Social Security tax and  Medicare tax are Payroll Taxes that you share with your employer.  You put 6.2% of your income towards Social Security and 1.45% towards Medicare, both of which your employer matches.  These are both gone, you don't get this money back as part of your refund.  Instead, these contributions make you eligible for these programs when you're 65.   Pretty much every person who works above the table pays these, though you won't have them taken out of a work study paycheck.  

The Income Tax is primarily what we are dealing with when it comes to your refund.  If all of your income comes from your job (rather than say, renting out property you own or successful investing) a big chuck of the tax filing process just got real simple for you.  The rate varies by how much money you make. It starts around 10% and goes up to about 40%.  So you pay a chunk to the Federal Government.  You probably also pay a State Income tax.  In Massachusetts the rate is flat, everybody just pays 5.15% all the time (unless you pay the optional higher rate.  Which, I mean, I love roads and stuff, but who does that?)  New York has brackets like the Federal system that range from 4% to almost 9%.  Some states have no income tax at all. 

So basically, your income (tax bracket) determines your tax liability, basically your total bill for the year.  A large portion of the process of doing your taxes is figuring out how much you should have paid for the year.

Lucky for you, you don't need to come up with all this money right now, because an estimate of what you'll owe each paycheck has been withheld throughout the year.  The basic thing you're doing when you do your taxes is figuring out how your liability compares to what you've already paid.  If your liability is lower than what has been withheld over the course of the year, you get a refund.  If it's higher, you owe money.

You can also use deductions to lower your tax liability.  This is why people get receipts when they donate to goodwill.  Things like charitable donations, business expenses and interest paid on a mortgage can be used to lower your liability.  You probably don't need to worry about this. Some people (usually with more money and/or more complex financial pictures) used itemized deductions, where they basically list all the qualifying things and add them up.  It is more likely that you'll get the best results using the Standard Deduction.  For a single person it's $6,200 this year ($6,300 for 2015).  So unless you have more than that in charitable donations and other deductions you don't need to worry about all that, you can just plug this handy number right into your formula.  If you made less than this, expect a nice refund!  If  you made $10,000, you only have to pay taxes on $3,800 of it.  

So now I hope you're starting to see taxes are not as mysterious as they seem.  But the forms are still wicked confusing.  I am not going to even talk about them because they are evil.  Don't do your taxes on paper my friends, it's 2015.  

Doing your taxes like a grown up:

Here's what you need:

A secure Internet connection 

The W-2 your employer sent you

General knowledge about your life (Are you married?  Do you have kids?)

MA Residents- Form MA1099-HC, which your Health Insurance Company will send you 

You can use a free service to file your taxes!  If you have a complicated situation you may need to buy software, but almost all amateur adults can do theirs just fine online.  I used Turbo Tax, other companies have similar services.  They make it super accessible and even ask you friendly questions about your feelings.

Then you plug in the information from your W-2 which is a summary of your income and taxes paid that your employer should have sent you early in the year.  Contact HR or Payroll if you didn't get one (or lost it.)  If you worked several jobs that's no problem, it will ask if you have another W-2 whenever you finish entering one. One thing I like about Turbo Tax is you don't even have to know what anything means, because it specifically tells you the location of each piece of information you need to plug in. It also does all the math for you.  So just go through all their prompts and questions.

They're going to ask you if anyone else claimed you as a dependent.  What does that mean? If someone else pays more than 50% of your being a person expenses they can claim you as a dependent.  Contact whoever this person might be and ask them if they claimed you as a dependent this year.   Even if you're pretty sure you mostly or totally support yourself you should ask, because saying a wrong thing on your taxes can be Very Bad News.  Plus, you should probably call your parents anyway.

The health insurance aspect is new this year for most Americans, but old news for Massachusetts residents.  Now that we're all required to have health insurance, you have to verify that you're covered when you do your taxes.  The federal government takes your word for it, you just check the "Yes, I'm insured" box.  If you live in MA you need that other form.  I was in a situation that many of you may also be in, which is that I'm a resident but didn't get that form, because my health insurance hails from New York.  The good news is you can track down that information other ways. It will ask for the name of your insurance company and your policy number (both are on your insurance card) and the federal ID  number of the company, which you can get by contacting your insurance company.  You can even google it.  

 When you finish, review all the info, save the document as a PDF for future reference, and click the final submit button!  Your federal return will be free.  I've done my state return on paper before, which you can certainly do, but this year I sprung for the $29.99 to have them submit it for me.  I was done with the whole process in about an hour. Both were free this year!!

Edit for 2015-Deducting Student Loan Interest 

If you're making payments on your student loans, part of that money (a good chunk of it if you started paying recently) is going to paying off the interest.  The bad news is that this feels like just taking your hard earned money and throwing it in the garbage.  The good news is the money you spend on student loan interest can save you money on your taxes. Whoever loaned you the money has to provide you with at 1089-E.  This form will say how much you've paid in interest during the year.  You don't need to itemize your deductions to take advantage of this, it's technically an "income adjustment" aka "above the line deduction" aka free money for you.

What I've Learned about Adulthood from Preschoolers

Working with kids for a living is the hardest, easiest, best, worst, most fun, super boring job I've ever had. People tend to react to the poop/spit up/snot factor, but dealing with bodily discharge doesn't bother me (that time I got puked on was the exception.) The hardest parts of my job are working with difficult parents and the fact that it's just constant, constant, constant.  Like Chinese water torture, children never do or say something just once. Or twice. Or three times.  Get it through your head dude, we will NEVER watch Caillou.   The best parts of my job are helping out families, doing kid centered activities and playing all day, and watching children use or do something that I taught them.  And the hilarious things they say. I have a theory that every three year old in the world has what it takes to be an Absurdist playwright.  Alluding here to the general wisdom of the five and under set, I'm consistently astounded by what they teach me, and how much my perspective has changed from working with little ones.

As you might expect, children have some Hot Takes on grown ups and their mysterious ways. Their ideas about adulthood have helped me more than most things to reach the place where I feel confident that I am, in fact, a grown up.

A five year old once asked me "Are you a grown up or a kid?" now I wouldn't hesitate to say "a grown up" but when I got this gem it was even more relevant, I was a 19 year old college sophomore.  I didn't really know.  What, exactly, is the difference between a grown up and a kid?   I said what I always say when I don't know the answer to a kids question, "what do you think?" she said "well you're tall like a grown up, but you have a mom like a kid." So there you have it.  We eventually decided I was "practicing to be a grown up," an amateur adult if you will.

I recently had this excellent and flattering exchange with a three year old...
"You don't smell like a grown up."
"What does a grown up smell like?"
"Bugs"
Self explanatory.

An excellent compliment I received from a two year old "You're not a grown up, you're my friend!" Kids are constantly thinking about the gaping difference between themselves and grown ups who have boring things like newspapers, and work, and "discussions."  An adult is an entirely different thing than a kid.  They know they'll be a grown up someday, but adulthood is literally ten lifetimes away.

When a favorite toy was lost, a five year old confidently reassured his sister "Julianna knows where it is, because grown ups are...grown ups." Yes, I knew exactly where it was.  Not because of my mysterious powers of Adult Omnipotence but because I had watched them put it down twenty minutes before.  They are astounded when I say "You need to go back to your bed now" when we can't even see each other, not realizing that I can hear them "sneaking" around or playing in a silent house.  Related- "My daddy can do anything, because he's big"

This is the most crucial lesson I learned: To a kid, adults know everything and can do anything.  They can drive cars and find places on maps.  They know how to make cookies and write every single letter, what will happen when you mix different paint colors, how germs work, basically any question you have a grown up knows the answer.  They can even predict the future.  How did I know that your pants would get wet if you sat in that puddle?  Because I'm a grown up. Those of us who had the good fortune to grow up with great parents and adults probably remember thinking about them as superheros.  When I babysit, I'm the ultimate authority, the person who seems to know everything.  When I talk to their parents (and mine!) as an adult, they don't have all the answers either.

I think a lot of us trip up as we move into adulthood because for so long we've imagined that the Real Adults are how we saw grown ups as kids.  That adults have all the answers and can do pretty much anything.  What I learned working with kids is that the adults we looked up to, though amazing, never actually had all the answers.  They were winging it, and just had more experience and knowledge to build on.  So let go of the idea that you won't be a grown up until you have it all together and don't need to learn more and ask questions.  We just need to keep building our toolkits and getting better and better at adulthood.  Someday, we might even start smelling like bugs.

Money, Honey: Bills, Bills Bills: Loans and Debt Edition

Sometimes, you gotta borrow money to do your thing.  Like lots of money.  Like more money than you can imagine having.  Almost every young person I know owes student loans to the tune of twenty, forty, or eighty thousand dollars.  There's tons of great writing on the student loan crisis and its impact on the economy so I'm not going to rehash that here, but it's worth checking out.  I personally have student loans to the tune of about $20,000 and an auto loan I owe $7,000 on.  I use a credit card but don't have credit card debt, though a lot of amateur adults do.  Many of us started borrowing money before we fully understood the whole process, but if you're getting a handle on your finances in your early 20s, you're still in pretty good shape.

Wait a minute!  I want to be responsible and stuff, but this stuff is so confusing!  There are so many WORDS what do they even mean? Fear not, I've done the Googling for all of us.

Interest is simply the money you pay to borrow money. Your rate is determined by your credit, but different types of loans have different general ranges.  The average credit card rate is around 15%, while the average 15 year mortgage is currently at 3.15%.  So although great credit can help you get decent interest rates, some kinds of debt cost much more than others.

APR stands for Annual Percentage Rate.  Basically, it's how much interest you will be paying on the debt each year.  So let's say we're looking at a credit card debt of  $3,000 (compared to the US average of $15,950 according to creditcard.com) and a "reasonable" 17% APR, if you carry that balance for a year (keep owing the dough without paying) you'll owe $3,510 at the end of that year.  That's assuming that you aren't adding to that debt at all.

Compound Interest means paying interest not only on the principle (how much money you borrowed the day you signed the papers) but also paying interest on the interest you've already accrued (literally means "built up", but is finance-themed). Interest is typically compounded annually or quarterly (there are four quarters in a year, so they last 3 months).  Ideally, money you owe will be compounded infrequently, and money you are saving will be compounded as often as possible.

Skip this next paragraph if you can't even with numbers right now.

Let's revisit our imaginary credit card debt.  If your interest is compounded annually you'll owe that $3,510 at the end of the first year, and then after the next year it will be up to $4,106.70.  The picture is even uglier if it compounds quarterly. 

Seventeen percent annually works out to 4.25% quarterly.  After your first quarter $3,000 becomes $3,135.  Because of the magic of compound interest, you also have to pay interest on that $135, making your total for the next quarter $3,276.08.  By the end of the first year you owe $3,543.44, and after two years you're up to $4,185.33.  The difference between compounded annually and quarterly  isn't huge in this example, but the longer you carry your debt for, the more it matters.

I'm not trying to overwhelm you here, so if you can only take one thing out of this have it be this: The nitty gritty details of your loan and carrying debt from year to year make a huge difference in how much money you will pay.

Credit card debt is the the nasty one.  If you don't have any, avoid building it up.  If you do, start working immediately on paying it down.  No more making the minimum payment, often it won't even keep you ahead on interest.  So though you're paying each month you're still going deeper into debt. Although they often offer a decent introductory rate near 2%, after the first year you'll be paying crazy interest.  The average on new cards is just over 15% and without established credit you can expect closer to 20%.  After my first year ends, my AAA Visa jumps to 24%.  I'm talking here about rates for stuff you buy, but transfers and cash withdrawals often have different rates.

Obviously in an ideal world, we wouldn't have debt. But we already do, and we sometimes need to take on more. So work to not take on debt you don't need, and to live a lifestyle you can afford.  But here are my top tips for paying down the money you owe:

1. Make paying your debt a priority.  Cultivate a sense of satisfaction that you're building your financial future whenever you make a payment, rather than throwing money into an endless hole. Listen to Grown Woman when you write checks.  If you can't afford to stay on top of your debt, you need to consider some lifestyle changes.  I promise future you will thank you.

2. Always pay extra.  Even if it's just rounding up from $237 to $250 a month you'll be done sooner which means paying less interest, and it's a great habit to get into.

3. If you are still in school or deferred while doing an eligible job/fellowship or working on a graduate degree try to pay off the interest as it accrues.  This won't be a ton of money, you can swing it.  This way, you can escape much of the cost of compound interest, and will significantly lower your debt when you start paying it off.

4. Set up direct pay for federal loans.  If you didn't pay attention during your exit interview you may have missed it, but if you set up the direct pay option on FedLoan (or whoever your servicer is) your interest rate will decrease by .25% over the life of your loan (they give you 10 years) that's big money, plus it's easy and convenient for you.

I know how easy it is to feel like you're drowning, even when your debt is completely under control.  But, as my Dad recently mentioned, consistency is key when if comes to paying you debts, so just set yourself on a good path and all you'll need to do is keep chugging along.

Money, Honey: Bills, Bills Bills: Utilities Edition

One of the first things you have to learn when you move out on your own is how to deal with your bills.  How do I make there be electricity here?  My roommates are awful at paying me back!  

Today we'll chit chat about the first of your sets of bills. Utilities.  You are also likely paying off loans, and if you drive or have your own health plan, insurance premiums.

You become responsible for utilities these when you move off campus or away from your parents.  Your electric, gas, oil, internet is typically what renters are dealing with.  You may be paying for trash removal in some cities.  Water/Sewage are utilities too but your landlord most likely handles those.  When you are apartment hunting, check what is included in the rent. When you move in, you call all your local utility companies and set things up with all your info, it takes about 15 minutes.  Watch out when you sign up for cable/internet because the great price is usually only for a year, after that they will raise it right up.  Then they will keep right on raising it.  We paid $65 for internet when we moved here, and the same package is up to $89 now.  

Each bill has to be in one person's name, and THIS MATTERS.  It can impact your credit score and you're legally responsible for those charges.  If your roommate forgets something and it's in your name, you're the one that's SOL so make sure you're dealing with everything under your name.  You can divide up this responsibility by having one person in charge of each, and settle the accounts once a month. At my place, I receive all the utilities because I'm the one who isn't moving in and out of the apartment all the time.  Each month I post the bills and the total that people owe me on a bulletin board and my roommates write me a check.  This system only works if you trust your roommates to pay you back, and you have the cash upfront to pay as bills come in.

Your first step to dealing with bills is trying to minimize them.  That means things like not getting HBO (or cable at all) keeping your place a little cooler in the winter and a little hotter in the summer, turning off the lights when you leave a room, all that stuff.  Bonus, saving money on your utilities is all about efficiency, so it's green.  Often, rates will rise as you use more.  So, the first however much of gas will be at one rate, but once you move into another bracket, you're paying a higher rate per unit.  So it pays off double to just wear a sweater. Or two.  It's like 10 degrees in Boston right now, I'm wearing two.  It's not a life of luxury, but remember that unless you're making the kind of money your parents make, you can't enjoy the same standard of living on your own as you did with them.  Plus, my habitat was built in 1905 so "drafty" is a way of life.  

Your next step is to pay them on time.  Every month.  Well before you get your power shut off you're going to rack up fees and maybe have your late payments reported to the folks who compile credit scores.  The old school get a bill in the mail and send a check in the mail works for the organized.  Checks and stamps are not expensive, but also not free.  Online pay is great, I recommend using it.  When you're setting it up, you can go thorough each companies website, and choose to pay month to month or set up autopay.  I recommend setting up bill pay through your bank instead.  That way everything is in one place, with only one password to remember.  Autopay gives you less to think about, but if you need to time payments with paychecks (no shame in that, especially during heating season!) you can also get an email when a bill comes in, bop on over to your banks website, check your balance and click "pay." Some banks offer incentives for signing up for bill pay, like that Extra 20 Checking.  For the record, I'm firmly on Team Credit Union.

If you have roommates you need to be serious about everyone paying their share, and paying it on time.  You may be best friends, but when it comes to rent and bills, you've entered a financial arrangement together.  If a roomie isn't pulling their weight don't let it slide even once, no matter how much you love each other.  Beyonce doesn't let scrubs run up her bills, and neither should you.