Escape the Kids Table this Holiday Season

I have, for as long as I can remember, absolutely hated the "kids table," a staple in large family get togethers over the holidays.  I know that it makes sense logistically, but we all know the kids get stuck at the rickety table with the uncomfortable chairs that only get dragged out when seating demand is high.  The adult table gets first pick of all the food, and it hurt my little girl feelings that the grown ups didn't want to sit with us.  Except my mom, shout out to my mom for sitting at the kids table with me.  Amateur Adults, its time for us to rise up and claim our rightful places at the grown up table!

But Julianna!  The holidays are steeped in tradition!  I'm surrounded by people who changed my diapers!  Everyone acts all weird and shocked when I skip the nonalcoholic eggnog!  Fear not my friends, because I have some tips for you to take home for the holidays.

1. As a young person, especially when it comes to people who are used to you not being an adult, the only way to be treated like an adult is to act like one.  I know that sometimes even this doesn't work, but it's all you can do and you also have to do it anyway.  Not fair?  Practice acting like an adult by getting over it.

2. Don't regress to your teenage self when you're home for the holidays. This means no bickering with your siblings, no sleeping until 2pm, no friends over causing a ruckus late into the night.  No driving your parents crazy by taking their car without asking, no leaving your dirty dishes on the table, no lying or general shadiness. These old habits come back hard when we're back in the environment where they started, but if you're aware, you can nip it in the bud.  Not only will you show everyone you've matured, you'll avoid having the same fights you've been having since you were 15.

3. Pay for your own trip home.  After years of carpools and shuttling you around and booking you tickets, your parents deserve to be free of the responsibility of getting you from point A to point B.  If they want to pay, or you really can't afford it, you should still be making your own arrangements.  This time of year is a logistical nightmare, take the initiative to make yourself one less thing to coordinate.  It's okay if you still need a ride from the bus station, but have the foresight not to book a trip that gets in at midnight.

4. Do the dishes or whatever else needs doing around your parents house.  Volunteer for a grocery store run, sweep, make dinner, fill up mom and dad's gas tank if you've been driving.  Even though they love to see you, your visit home is still disrupting the new rhythm of their day to day lives, and you want to demonstrate that you are appreciative, helpful, and mature.  Besides, you're getting a ton of free and delicious food,  and probably a nicer shower than you have at your place, so it's the least you can do.

5. Pay for things.  If your situation is like mine, your parents have more money than you do, so this feels weird, and often you have to insist that they allow it.  My mom once told me she would know I was an adult when we went out to eat and I just went ahead and paid.  Paying for dinner can be a tough proposition, especially if your parents are interested in going to nicer spots than you frequent.  What you probably can afford is to not asked to be reimbursed when you stopped for milk on the way home, or to buy dad's coffee as well as your own on your next pit stop.  Don't make a big deal, a simple "No, I've got it" shows that you are willing to contribute and not be a moochey pants. Sometimes you have to put your literal money where your mouth is.  You may be surprised how good it feels to treat the people who have taken care of you for so long.

6.  If you still get seated at the kids table (literally or otherwise) be gracious.  Your parents/aunts/grandparents/whoever are probably not treating you like a child to bother or hurt you.  Your growing up may well be as new and emotional to them as it is to you.  I have no idea how this feels, but I imagine it to be like that weird feeling when your littlest cousin or a kid you babysat enters high school, but many times over.  Be patient, be kind, be the best grown up you can be and they'll come around eventually.

Disclaimer!  I fully understand that family situations can be very tricky, and that I am blessed to have a warm and loving family that wants me to come back for the holidays. I also wrote a bit about money, but please don't think I'm assuming anything about your financial situation or that of your family.  I'm writing this from the experience of my own family and personal situation, hoping that you will be able to draw something from it that will be applicable to you.